I've been told that one of the things that can lead a person to be happy is to let things go, particularly the past (found at http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/). I've realised though that this concept is very hard for me to do. I not only not let go of issues but I usually just sweep them under this carpet of issues I have and carry on till one day the carpet flies open due to a gust of wind called reality and I'm faced with the issue again. One of my best mates always tells me to let go. I wish they had a class that can help one to let go.
So a few days ago I was faced with an issue that I guess keeps coming back over the past year because I live in Hollywood land so sometimes I think my so-called movie life might end up as the reality. So I decided to face up to it once and for all, even if it meant killing the movie. It did. Reality won. But hey, as my therapist said I was very brave in doing that and at least I now know what the reality is. It should have been an issue I had moved on from months ago but I guess I really am a dreamer. Oh well.
Then another issue popped up linked to a recent event that occurred that I'm still trying to get over and I didn't know whether I should participate in the event or not as it would have meant I would be walking backwards rather then moving forwards. So I chose to continue to move forwards, to continue to let it go and turns out I'm happy with my decision. I didn't need to go and prove myself to anyone nor did I need to hear any negativity that I know would have upset me. I just let it go.
So I'm learning. It takes time but one does learn. What I did discover though in therapy yesterday was that I actually haven't really said goodbye to my mum. Physically yes but not from my heart I haven't said goodbye. That I'm not ready. I know ill have to do it soon but yesterday I wasn't ready. I will be though and I hope I'm strong enough for it to be sooner rather then later.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
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